Love will tear me apart

It's not easy being an eligible 30+ lad with excellent marital prospects. Every move I make is closely scrutinized by hopeful young belles and their match-making mammas. If I speak so much as a couple of sentences to a girl, I have to contend with that gleam of hope and acquisitiveness in her eyes and that could get very unsettling. And I hate to disappoint them so.

Who am I trying to kid? Im a single, lonely, teetering-on-the-hill man who has found to his chagrin that romance is not as forthcoming as it once was. Most of my old flames have gone and gotten married. Two of them even got married on the same day. Talk about double whammies. I've met girls who claim to like me, but when the crunch comes, Im still here- alone except for an aquarium with a few fish donated by well-meaning friends. Had a cat too but after a couple of nights sleeping with HIM, I felt uneasy so I gave him away to a little girl"

So what's wrong with me? Im a relatively nice guy with regular features. One girl even proclaimed that she loved my hooded "drunk-looking" eyes and my "nibble-able" lips. (check profile pic for proof of authenticity). Now I wonder, was it just physical, what that girl felt for me.

And there was I, standing on her doorstep with my heart in my hands. And thats the saddest part. I dont trifle with emotions like some guys do. I've been told that I should play hard-to-get to pique a girl's interest, but I don't want to do that. Im a simple guy. I like you, you like me, lets canoodle, and thats it. I don't understand the point of "I like you, I pursue you, you pretend not to like me, I pretend not to like you, you pursue me, you like me", by the end of which I'll be so confused by the whole rigmarole anyway that I'll probably end up liking your ex boyfriend and pretending not to like him.   

Sometimes the errant thought gets into my head- is it because I'm half and half? I try to reject that line of thought because its unworthy of the few kind souls who have deigned to date me. But I do think about it- do some girls go, "Rootless, nomadic Hybridmos"? It's true in a way-  but not in the way you'd think. My family moves around a lot and so, while i call Mizoram my home, technically I don't have a place that I could truly call home. Which is why I want someone that I could come home to, someone in whose homey embrace this "hunter, home from the hill"  (chicks dig poetry) could lay his weary (and extremely embraceable) body down.

So here I am, a romantic failure. I've been told, "We don't do that in these here parts" when I tried to hold a girl's hand. Been given a chilly reception when I crossed the country to be with a girl. Been laughed at when I serenaded a girlfriend about to go home (Admittedly, the song was "I00 miles, a 100 miles, a 100 miles" but it was rendered very feelingly). Been told by a girl that her intuition tells her that I was subliminally pulling away from her and that I was just minorly infatuated with her. Chick-speak for "Leave me alone, el creepo!" :( 

But it's okay. I've come to accept that the spirit of romance is dying out in the female species. And I'm alright (he's alright, he's allriiight). I just gotta get out of this prison cell, and one day I'm gonna be free, Lord! I now leave you with this little song from Glee. Not that I watch it, being the He-man type. And not because girls will start to identify with me for referring to Glee (chicks dig Glee). But just because, well, just because. (He-man types dont explain themselves)