Once upon a time when I was in the 10th Standard I had this huge, gigantic, massive, titanic, colossal crush on this girl in our class. She was the prettiest thing God had ever created (although prettier things came along later). The first serious crush I'd ever had. Once I thought she actually smiled at me but she was smiling at our Brother (Roman Catholic Priest) who was walking behind me. That was the only time I wished I'd been a Roman Catholic Priest - this was at a time when there were no jokes made about priests who misused Jesus' preaching about letting the little children come to him. She was so pretty that she made at least two girls change their sexuality.. and boys who had changed their sexuality to reverse their decisions (but not their sex change operations..sadly).
Anyway I really wanted this girl (whose name I cannot reveal) to know I had this huge, gigantic, massive, titanic, colossal crush for/on her . In those days email, mobile phones, orkut, facebook (the usual tools to woo a girl) had not been invented yet so sending her a love song every day was out of the question. The only tools that were available at my disposal were -
1.Keep staring at her and grin widely hoping to catch her attention (maybe she'd ask me if I was ill or something)
2.Make friends with her best friends and tell them that the only reason that I'm friends with you is so that I can get to your pretty friend.
3. Write her a letter.
Options 1 and 2 were discarded pretty quickly since they could result in unwanted results. So a letter it was to be. Got out my thick Mizoram Board of School Education prescribed Grammar Text Book. Turned over to the chapter on "Letter Writing". Started writing. For about two hours. The contents of that letter I can't really remember but one embarrassing cringe worthy line I still remember went something like this - "Please ask your mother if she will allow you to fall in love with me 'cuz mothers know best". Yep Cringeworthiness of the highest degree.
After writing the letter I decided to pimp it up a bit. Sprinkled talcum powder in it. Yep I did. Quite generously too. Sprayed it with my mother's costliest perfume. Added a dash of rose petals from the rose that I'd stolen from our neighbour's garden. Red. Enclosed the letter in a nice pink envelope . (Again stolen from my Dad's drawer). Left it on my study table . Had breakfast. Went to school. Realised after reaching school that I had forgotten the sweet smelling letter at home. [Gah! Insert commonly used swear words here!!]
I visualized my father going into my room checking to see if I had left any dirty magazines lying around (no not for his reading pleasure)... and finding my letter. When school got over I slowly trudged home and lo and behold Father had found the letter. He gave me a tongue lashing I'll never forget - "You should be concentrating on your studies.. Oh so this is why you have been ironing your trousers to a knife edged crease.. oh so this is why you have been using my cologne.. Oh this is why you've started shaving.. Oh this is why you keep listening to Boyzone and Backstreet Boys" and so on and so forth. My mother was amused though - she thought the rose petals were a nice touch. Don't remember whatever happened to that perfumed letter. Probably filed away by my Dad for future reference.
So "Pretty Girl" never received my labour of love. Her Loss. Not Mine. I never tried to get to her again. School got over pretty fast. Have never seen her again since 1995. Wonder where she is now. Probably married with three kids or something like that. Or maybe she's single and is on Orkut/Facebook now. Lemme go search.. for old time's sake.
Note: People who know me.. Please don't ask me who the girl is. Not telling. Please respect the privacy of this poor girl. :)
Anyway I really wanted this girl (whose name I cannot reveal) to know I had this huge, gigantic, massive, titanic, colossal crush for/on her . In those days email, mobile phones, orkut, facebook (the usual tools to woo a girl) had not been invented yet so sending her a love song every day was out of the question. The only tools that were available at my disposal were -
1.Keep staring at her and grin widely hoping to catch her attention (maybe she'd ask me if I was ill or something)
2.Make friends with her best friends and tell them that the only reason that I'm friends with you is so that I can get to your pretty friend.
3. Write her a letter.
Options 1 and 2 were discarded pretty quickly since they could result in unwanted results. So a letter it was to be. Got out my thick Mizoram Board of School Education prescribed Grammar Text Book. Turned over to the chapter on "Letter Writing". Started writing. For about two hours. The contents of that letter I can't really remember but one embarrassing cringe worthy line I still remember went something like this - "Please ask your mother if she will allow you to fall in love with me 'cuz mothers know best". Yep Cringeworthiness of the highest degree.
After writing the letter I decided to pimp it up a bit. Sprinkled talcum powder in it. Yep I did. Quite generously too. Sprayed it with my mother's costliest perfume. Added a dash of rose petals from the rose that I'd stolen from our neighbour's garden. Red. Enclosed the letter in a nice pink envelope . (Again stolen from my Dad's drawer). Left it on my study table . Had breakfast. Went to school. Realised after reaching school that I had forgotten the sweet smelling letter at home. [Gah! Insert commonly used swear words here!!]
I visualized my father going into my room checking to see if I had left any dirty magazines lying around (no not for his reading pleasure)... and finding my letter. When school got over I slowly trudged home and lo and behold Father had found the letter. He gave me a tongue lashing I'll never forget - "You should be concentrating on your studies.. Oh so this is why you have been ironing your trousers to a knife edged crease.. oh so this is why you have been using my cologne.. Oh this is why you've started shaving.. Oh this is why you keep listening to Boyzone and Backstreet Boys" and so on and so forth. My mother was amused though - she thought the rose petals were a nice touch. Don't remember whatever happened to that perfumed letter. Probably filed away by my Dad for future reference.
So "Pretty Girl" never received my labour of love. Her Loss. Not Mine. I never tried to get to her again. School got over pretty fast. Have never seen her again since 1995. Wonder where she is now. Probably married with three kids or something like that. Or maybe she's single and is on Orkut/Facebook now. Lemme go search.. for old time's sake.
Note: People who know me.. Please don't ask me who the girl is. Not telling. Please respect the privacy of this poor girl. :)
